I am a Latina senior citizen who through this blog will try to come to terms not only as to why I was never number one to anyone,but after years of saying always tell the truth,I now come to find it has cost me all I had once held near and dear to me.
Because of the autoimmune disease I have had most of my adult and probably since puberty and while some may think poor little girl it is my truth as I remember it.Some of it was good,and exciting,but for the most part all I ever wanted was a safe harbor from the turbulent seas of my childhood and most of my adult life.Someone who would put me Number one in their life and share in and try to understand why I got to be the woman I was and help me be the wife and mother I never had an example of.
I have been a child of what was the “Daddy Knows Best”,generation and a child of the turbulent sixties.I have been given much,tossed away much more,and through this illness which is genetic and hereditary lost everything and everyone I have ever loved except for my husband. He really has no choice as these days he needs me more than I wish to be needed,yet in some ways gives me purpose to stay alive for yet another day. Will or shall I have the strength to last the week? I honestly do not know.